


Love Me or Leave Me.

by simpforcynthia



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian Sex, Minor non con for the first chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:21:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28375353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpforcynthia/pseuds/simpforcynthia
Summary: This is an AU story of where Mildred and Gwendolyn have started college in the 80's (my favourite era) and they are roomates. Mildred struggles to come to terms with how she feels about Gwendolyn and Gwendolyn gives her an ultimatum - love her or leave her.I hope I can do this justice as it's just something I've had in my mind since watching Ratched for the first time and I have a LOT of knowledge of the 80's.
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs & Mildred Ratched, Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched
Comments: 22
Kudos: 127





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone.  
> I'm gonna take a little break from writing- maybe a week or so. I need to focus on my mental health and I'm putting way too much pressure on myself to get a chapter written in a week at the moment (I work full time so spend my evenings/nights writing which takes a lot of time) so I need to get better and then hopefully, I will be back and ready to smash these chapters out! I appreciate all of the support and thank you so much for those of you who have left lovely comments but I will not be abandoning this story as i love it so much! I hope you understand and continue to read once I'm back! Lots of love xo

Mildred pulled into a parking space close to what she was sure was her dorm. She sighed and adjusted her sunglasses and made sure her hair was tidy before getting out of her cherry red Mustang. It was her baby - she'd worked two jobs for two years over the summer and other holidays so that she could afford it and it was her most prized possession. 

As soon as she got out of the car, the heat smacked her in the face. "I had no idea San Francisco was this warm." She thought to herself as she pulled her jacket off and put it back inside the car. 

She walked around to the trunk and opened it to take the two large suitcases out of it - she literally fit everything she wanted to bring with her in those and she also had some bags of bedding and towels and other essentials that she had purchased brand new. 

She quickly grabbed her purse and locked her car before heading in the direction of the dorm, already noticing how buzzing the atmosphere was. She noticed the majority of students were with their parents and she felt a pang of jealousy as she had nobody to bring her. But that was fine, she was a strong girl and she was used to it. 

As she carried her things, her arms began to grow tired and she was so grateful that her room was only on the second floor. 

She finally found her room number and pushed her key in to unlock the door. She turned the handle and just as she opened it, someone opened it from the other side, causing Mildred to stumble and almost fall over her things. 

"Oh my. I'm so sorry!" The other person exclaimed. Mildred glanced up and saw one of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen in her life. Strawberry blonde hair, green eyes and a lovely smile. 

"Oh...that's oo-ok." Mildred stuttered slightly as she got her bearings back. 

"Here! Let me help you." The woman offered, taking one of Mildred's suitcases from her. Mildred hobbled over to where her other suitcase was and was so glad once she'd put it down. 

"Where are my manners? I'm Gwendolyn, Gwendolyn Briggs. It's very nice to meet you." She held her hand out for Mildred to shake. 

Mildred took her hand to shake it and she felt an electromagnetic pulse shoot through her as they touched. 

"I'm, um… Mildred Ratched." She smiled meekly. 

"Aren't you shy?" Gwendolyn chuckled, lighting a cigarette. "I hope you don't mind?"

"Not at all!" Mildred replied just before she heard some commotion in the hallway. 

"Ah, that will be orientation starting now. Come on Millie." Gwendolyn grinned, grabbing Mildred's hand, causing her to squeak as the blonde pulled her towards the door. 

They went to orientation and were shown around the college and met other students. "Soooo, I heard that there is a party tonight at the frat House on campus. Are you in?" Gwendolyn asked as one of the guides talked about the history of the university. 

Mildred felt uneasy at the thought of a party. "Oh, um… I don't know. I'm not really a party type of person and I don't think I have any clothes suitable for a party." Mildred said quietly. 

"You can borrow something of mine! Come on, Millie. What's a better way to kick off the semester with a party?! Pretty please. I don't wanna go on my own." Gwendolyn begged, pouting. 

"Fine, only for a few hours." Mildred agreed begrudgingly. 

"Yay! This is gonna be so much fun!" Gwendolyn exclaimed causing everyone to look at her. 

"Woops." Mildred giggled as Gwendolyn turned red. 

Orientation had ended and they were making their way back to their room. "So, Millie. What are you majoring in?" Gwendolyn asked. 

"I'm actually doing my nursing diploma here. They have a great nursing school here so it was the best place for me to come. What about you?" She asked. 

"I'm majoring in politics." Gwendolyn replied. "Wow. I love it. Strong independent woman." She smiled. 

"That's my plan." Gwendolyn laughed. 

They arrived back at their room after grabbing some food as it was around dinner time. 

Once they had eaten their food, they began to get ready for the party. Mildred was feeling extremely nervous and totally out of her comfort zone but she wanted to make friends. 

Gwendolyn had just finished doing Mildred's hair and make up and she looked in the mirror, barely recognising the person looking back at her. Dark smokey eyes with a bright red lipstick and her hair was in big curls, full of volume. "Wow. I look so different." She breathed. "You look stunning, Mildred. I wish I had your facial structure. Your cheekbones are amazing." Gwendolyn replied, starting to do her own make up. "Go and get dressed!" She told her and Mildred stood up and took the clothes that Gwendolyn had said she could wear, going into the bathroom to change. 

She pulled on the dress, which was so tight it was like a second skin. It was off the shoulder and was shorter than she normally wore. She paired it with some fishnet tights and red heels before throwing on an embellished blazer with shoulder pads. She ruffled her hair and sprayed some perfume before leaving the bedroom. 

Gwendolyn looked up and stared for a little longer than was normal. Her jaw dropped and she gasped. "Millie! Wow, you look amazing!" She shrieked. 

"Are you sure? I feel like I look stupid." She blushed. 

"No, honestly. You look stunning." Gwendolyn replied. "You're going to be fighting the boys off tonight." She laughed and Mildred felt an uneasiness settle in her stomach but she plastered a smile on her face anyway. 

Gwendolyn had finally finished doing her hair and make up, she had braided her hair after her shower and dried it quickly with the hairdryer so once she took it out, her hair was full of volume. She stood up and grabbed the jumpsuit she was wearing and went to get changed. 

Once they were both ready, Gwendolyn grabbed her purse and stashed the bottle of gin that she had purchased inside of it, hooked her arm through Mildred's and they left to walk to the frat House. 

As they got closer to the frat house, Mildred could already hear the booming music and other students outside. She swallowed nervously, her anxiety levels spiking. She took a deep breath as they walked up the driveway and through the open door inside. 

There was so many people in the hallway, they could barely move and a lot of people there were already drunk. Mildred felt somebody grope her ass and swatted their hand away, gripping Gwendolyn's arm tighter. Eventually they got through to the kitchen which was a little bit calmer and Mildred breathed a sigh of relief. 

"What do you want to drink, Millie?" Gwendolyn shouted over the music. 

"I'll just have a soda, thanks." Mildred replied. 

"What?! This is a party! Have some gin with me?" Gwendolyn replied. 

"Ok, one drink!" Mildred laughed, lighting a cigarette before taking a deep drag to calm her nerves. 

She turned away from Gwendolyn as she prepared their drinks and noticed a boy walking over to them. 

"Hello, gorgeous. What's your name?" He asked, slurring slightly. 

"Hey, back off!" Gwendolyn exclaimed, moving to protect Mildred from the drunken guy. 

"I was only being nice!" The boy protested, trying to grab Mildred's waist. 

"I said, back off. Jerk!" Gwendolyn shouted. 

"Jeez. Are you two together or something?" He snickered, making a v with his fingers and flicking his tongue between them. 

"Don't be so vulgar." Mildred scolded, frowning at him before turning her back to him as Gwendolyn handed her a drink. 

She took a sip and was pleasantly surprised that it tasted really nice. So she took another sip and ended up drinking most of it. She felt warm and fuzzy. She'd never tried alcohol before so it was a nice experience so far. 

"Come on, let's go and dance!" Gwendolyn laughed, grabbing her hand. 

They headed into the lounge of the house and saw that the room was heaving with bodies swaying to the music and there was a haze of smoke and the smell of weed hung in the air. Mildred ignored it and weaved her way between the bodies with Gwendolyn, the alcohol providing her with some newly found confidence. 

They danced to several songs, Mildred having to fight off a few guys in the process. "I'm going to get us another drink, stay here!" Gwendolyn shouted in her ear. Mildred nodded and continued to dance. 

She lit another cigarette and swayed to the music, feeling more free than she had ever felt in her life. She felt an arm wrap around her waist and thought it was Gwendolyn trying to steady herself so she continued to dance until she felt the hand slip down to her ass and squeeze it. She turned her head to the side and saw it was the same guy as earlier. 

"What the fuck is your problem?! Do you think it's acceptable just to start feeling women up?! Get your hands off me!" She shouted, pushing the guy away, almost dropping her cigarette in the process. 

"I just wanted to dance. Please, you're so sexy in that dress. I'm sorry if I upset you." The guy slurred. 

Mildred didn't see the harm and sighed, rolling her eyes. "Fine, one dance." 

They danced and Gwendolyn returned with their drinks. She had almost reached Mildred when she saw the guys head dip and place a kiss on Mildred's lips. She felt an overwhelming surge of jealousy come upon her and almost dropped their drinks. She flared her nostrils and stormed through the crowd, tapping Mildred on the shoulder. She pulled away and smiled sheepishly. "Here's your drink." Gwendolyn grunted and passed it to her. 

"Thanks, Gwen! Are you ok? I'm so glad we came to this party!" Mildred giggled. "I'm having a great time." Gwendolyn said sarcastically but Mildred didn't pick up on this and grinned, downing most of her second drink, feeling even more of a buzz this time from it. 

Several hours passed and Mildred was still hanging around with that same guy and she was pretty drunk at this stage. Gwendolyn was still near her, keeping a watchful eye over her new friend but she was chatting to some girls who were in the same lectures as her. 

"I need the bathroom." Mildred shouted in the guys ear, whom she'd learnt was called Simon. 

"I'll show you where it is." He said, taking her hand. 

He led her out of the lounge and up the stairs to where the bathrooms were. 

Mildred kissed his cheek before turning to go into the bathroom and tried to shut the door behind her but Simon stopped her from doing so and pushed his way inside. 

"What are you doing?!" Mildred slurred, stunned at what he was doing. 

"Oh come on, don't play that game with me." He smirked, locking the door before grabbing her by the waist and lifting her up onto the sink. 

"Get off me!" She fought back, too weak to fight him off properly. 

"You've been leading me on all night." He chuckled darkly, his hands on her thighs, sliding under her dress as he began to kiss her neck. 

Mildred felt a wave of panic wash over her, this feeling was all too familiar and she was frozen in the situation. 

"Please, no…" She whimpered, feebly trying to fight him off again. 

"Shh. Don't fight it. I know what you want." He replied, hooking his fingers around her panties. 

"Get off!" She shrieked, bringing her knee up to his groin. 

Simon groaned in pain, clutching his privates. "You fucking bitch!" He growled, lifting one hand to backhand her across the face. "I don't want to fuck you anyway, you just seemed like an easy lay, whore." He snarled as Mildred sat there, tears streaming down her face. 

He unlocked the door and Gwendolyn came barging in and saw that Mildred was crying, her cheek bright red. 

"What have you done?!" She shouted, shoving Simon out of the door, slamming it in his face and locking it again. 

"Millie, Millie, tell me what happened." She said, rushing over to her as Mildred began to hyperventilate. 

"I..I said.. I… I needed the b-bathroom and h-he followed m-me inside. Started k-kissing me and t-trying to touch m-me." She managed to stutter inbetween sobs. 

"I'm so sorry, this is my fault. We never should have come here. I'm so sorry. What a pig. We're going straight to the Dean tomorrow to make him aware." Gwendolyn seethed.

Mildred didn't register what she'd said, her head swimming with thoughts and replaying what had just happened. 

Gwendolyn wrapped her arms around her, stroking her hair as she calmed down. 

Mildred eventually lifted her head and looked at Gwendolyn. 

Gwendolyn felt something between them in that moment and leant in to kiss her lips softly. Mildred kissed her back for a second before she realised what happened and pulled away. 

"Mildred… I…" Gwendolyn stuttered. 

"Save it. I'm going." Mildred said angrily, storming out of the bathroom and out of the house. She was almost halfway across campus when she heard Gwendolyn's voice, shouting her name. 

She couldn't believe what had just happened, she couldn't wrap her head around it. 

She'd never met a gay woman before and her head was swimming with thoughts again as she walked faster, desperate to get back to her room and just go to bed. 

She felt someone grab her arm so she whipped around and was met with Gwendolyn's tear stained face. 

"What do you want, Gwendolyn?! Leave me the fuck alone!" She shouted, pulling her arm away. 

"Please, I just want to talk!" Gwendolyn replied. 

"I have nothing to say to you! We may be roomates but that's all we will ever be!" She replied. 

"I'm so sorry, I thought you were one of us." Gwendolyn said quietly. 

Mildred scoffed and walked inside of the building where their room was and ran up the stairs to their room, unlocked the door and went straight inside, kicking her heels off and throwing her jacket on the floor. 

Gwendolyn walked in seconds later. 

"What in gods name were you thinking, Gwendolyn?" Mildred was pacing the floor, trying to process that nights events. 

"I'm sorry Mildred, I really am. I don't know what came over me. Yes, I am gay. I thought you were too." Gwendolyn replied, looking at Mildred as she paced up and down. 

"No, I am not." Mildred snapped, harshly. 

"Ok. Kiss me once more and then tell yourself that." Gwendolyn replied, biting her lip. 

Mildred scoffed and rolled her eyes, marching over to Gwendolyn, grabbing the front of her jumpsuit as she kissed her again. 

Gwendolyn was stunned that she actually did it and kissed her back, not knowing where to put her hands. 

Gwendolyn went to pull away but was surprised to find that Mildred gripped her tighter, the kiss growing more passionate so Gwendolyn wound her arms around her waist, holding her close. 

Mildred pulled away, gasping for air, staring at Gwendolyn, her pupils blown with desire and arousal. 

"Are you still sure that you're not one of us?"


	2. Chapter 2

"I… I don't know what you're talking about." Mildred stuttered. 

"Look me in the eye, Mildred and tell me that you didn't feel anything then." Gwendolyn replied. 

"I didn't feel anything." The brunette mumbled. 

"What? I can't hear you. Speak up." Gwendolyn demanded. 

"I didn't feel ANYTHING! There, was that loud enough for you?!" Mildred shouted. 

"Get out of my face, I'm going to bed." She snapped, moving out of the way and going into the bathroom to change into some pyjamas and wash the make up off. 

Once she had come out, the room was dark and she made her way over to her bed and got under the comforter. She felt an overwhelming wave of sadness wash over her and she pulled the comforter over her head as she began to cry, not wanting Gwendolyn to hear her. 

Gwendolyn did hear her cry and wanted to comfort her but she didn't want to push her away anymore than she has already done. She lay there feeling useless, she'd only known Mildred for a short time but she didn't like to hear her upset even though, she had hurt Gwendolyn too. 

Several weeks passed by and they were immersed into the semester and lectures. Gwendolyn had hardly seen Mildred since that night as she always came home late or not at all and several times she had bought a guy back to the room with her and she had to lie there, pretending to sleep whilst they had sex. It made Gwendolyn feel sick to her stomach and she couldn't bare it. 

She decided enough was enough and luckily, her parents were quite well off and offered to pay extra to move her rooms. 

She was packing her things up one evening to prepare to move tomorrow when Mildred stumbled inside, obviously drunk. She was wearing a pair of skin tight disco pants with a black bandeau top and a white lace crop top over it. She felt her mouth go dry just looking at her and her heart began to beat faster. She hated how she made her feel. 

"What are you doing?" Mildred asked, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall to steady herself. 

"I'm moving out, Mildred. I don't feel comfortable here." Gwendolyn replied, still packing her clothes. 

"Why not?" The brunette questioned. 

Gwendolyn scoffed and looked up at her. She hated how much she had fallen hook, line and sinker for her. Her stomach did backflips every time they made eye contact. "Because you keep bringing god knows who back here and I don't relish listening to you having sex if I'm quite honest. My parents have paid more for me to go into a better building… who knows, maybe one of your boyfriends can move in now." She said coldly. 

"You're a bitch. Is this because I'm not a lesbian like you?" Mildred cackled, wagging her finger in front of her face. 

"No, Mildred. I don't want to live with a skank and a liar. So I'm moving out." She replied, zipping her suitcase up. 

Mildred scoffed, pretending to not be hurt by her harsh words. "And what if I want you to stay? I'll stop bringing guys here." She said quietly, picking at her nails. 

"I'm sorry Mildred, it's not enough." She snapped. 

"What can I do to make you stay?" Mildred asked, her vulnerability showing. 

"Look, I'm sorry I called you a skank, I was angry. But I can't keep living like this, I have to think of my own happiness." Gwendolyn sighed, turning to look at her again. 

"Please, Gwen…" Her voice cracked. "I don't wanna be alone…"

Gwendolyn saw she was getting upset and couldn't help but feel guilty. 

"Fine. You have a month to sort yourself out or I'm gone." Gwendolyn said, her hands on her hips. 

"Thank you." Mildred smiled softly. "I'm gonna go get something to eat, do you want me to bring you anything back?" 

"I'll have whatever you're having." Gwendolyn smiled in return. 

Mildred pulled a jacket on before leaving their room and Gwendolyn exhaled forcefully. "You idiot, Gwendolyn." She muttered, deciding to go and take a hot shower to relieve her stress. 

They spent the night eating their food and studying together, the little boombox playing Mildred's mixtape. 

Gwendolyn looked at her watch and saw that it was almost 2am. "Wow, we'd better go to sleep." She laughed as Mildred yawned. 

Luckily, they were both in their pyjamas so they packed everything away and settled down to go to sleep. 

"Goodnight, Gwen." Mildred whispered. 

"Night, Millie." Gwendolyn replied and they both fell asleep rather quickly.

It was only two hours later when Gwendolyn was woken up by Mildred. She was shrieking and begging someone called 'Edmund' to stop. "She's having a bad dream." Gwendolyn muttered, not knowing what to do for the best.

"Edmund! Ed… please don't hurt me!" Mildred screamed, thrashing about. 

Gwendolyn shot out of bed and went over to her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her gently. "Millie...Millie, wake up!" She said loudly so she could wake her up. 

The brunette gasped and opened her eyes, still thrashing around, trying to throw Gwendolyn off. 

"Hey...hey! It's me, Gwendolyn." She said calmly. "It's me. You're safe." She whispered. Mildred began to sob, covering her face with her hands. 

"Shh. Don’t cry. It's ok. Do you want a cuddle?" She asked, not knowing what to do. Mildred nodded, wiping her eyes. 

Gwendolyn climbed into bed with Mildred and wrapped her arms around her. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly. 

Mildred hesitated before beginning to talk. "I'm an orphan. My mother was an alcoholic and gave me up. I was in and out of foster homes for most of my childhood. Then I met Edmund. He was never my biological brother but our social worker fudged the paperwork to say that we were. We went through several homes, each one as horrible as the last. Then we finally met this couple. They seemed really nice and wanted nothing more to make us happy." She said quietly, breathing in shakily to prepare herself for what she was about to say next. 

"About a month into us living with them, they took us down to the basement and they had a puppet theatre set up down there. It was the best thing ever, there was a stage and everything. But what we didn't realise was we were going to be the puppets and people - mostly older men, were paying to come and watch us perform. Our Foster parents were putting out classified adverts in the newspapers under a fake name. It was ok at first, we'd just sing and dance for them, but then, they started to make us...to make us perform acts on each other. Acts of a sexual nature…even though he wasn't my real brother, it felt so so wrong. And this continued for months, we were trapped in this pedophile ring. And then one day, Edmund just snapped and murdered the Foster parents and threatened to kill me too if I didn't run away. So I did, I ran to the social workers office and stayed outside there all night until they arrived in the morning and told them everything. The rest is a blur, I spent a lot of time in an orphanage. I've still not seen Edmund since that night when I was 12." She sighed, not able to look up at Gwendolyn. 

Gwendolyn was astonished. She couldn't believe that she had been through so much and still ended up here, at college. She was so proud of her. "Mildred, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. It's so awful and I can't even imagine how you must have been and still are affected." 

"Well, you know my story now. I'm pretty fucked up." Mildred laughed coldly. 

"You're not. You are so strong. Not many people can survive through that. I really admire you." Gwendolyn replied. 

"I'm surprised, of the few people I have told, you're probably the only person to not act disgusted at what happened. It's also nice to share the burden with someone." Mildred smiled. 

"Well I'm glad that you've told me and that you've shared the burden. I'm gonna go back to bed now, if you don't mind." She said. 

"No! No...please stay...I feel safer like this." Mildred admitted quietly. 

Gwendolyn was surprised but nodded. "Ok, come on let's get some sleep then." She smiled. "Night Gwen." Mildred whispered, snuggling into her. "Night." The blonde replied, closing her eyes and soon drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, Gwendolyn awoke to the sound of her alarm clock ringing. She tried to reach over to turn it off but she was trapped. Mildred was practically lying on top of her. She smiled to herself, usually this would be amazing but they she realised that Mildred would never see her that way. 

She sighed and shook Mildred's shoulder. "Millie, wake up." She said quietly. Mildred groaned, opening her eyes. "Oh, I'm so sorry." She laughed nervously. 

"It's fine, it's not like these are the biggest of beds." Gwendolyn giggled as Mildred moved so she should get up to turn the alarm off. 

"I'd better go take a shower and get to class." She said before heading into the bathroom to take a shower. 

She got ready quickly, grabbing everything she needed for her classes that day. "I guess I'll see you later." She smiled at Mildred who was still getting ready. "Bye Gwen, have a good day and thank you for last night."

Gwendolyn nodded and left the room.

They spent their day attending lectures and all Gwendolyn could think about was holding Mildred last night. She wished it was under better circumstances but she enjoyed it nonetheless. She knew she was probably giving herself false hope but she couldn't wait to see her again. 

She left the lecture hall and made her way back to their room. She stopped to grab some food on the way and finally walked through the door to find Mildred getting ready and it seemed that she was going out. 

"Hi, Gwen! How was your day?" She asked, smiling at her. "It was good, thanks. Are you off anywhere nice?" Gwendolyn asked. "Just to the frat house, they're having another party. Fancy coming along?" Mildred replied, putting some earrings in. 

"I'm good thanks, I'm really tired." Gwendolyn sat on her bed and began to eat the pizza she had gotten. 

"I won't be home late, I promise." Mildred smiled, putting her shoes on. "Have fun." Gwendolyn replied as Mildred left the room. 

Gwendolyn spent the night alone, studying and listening to music. She checked the time and saw that it was 11 pm so she decided to get ready for bed. 

Once she had washed her face and brushed her teeth, she climbed into bed, setting her alarm for the morning and slowly drifted off to sleep. 

At 12.30 she woke up to the sound of the door to their room being shut and she could also hear Mildred's heels on the hardwood floor. "Mildred?" She asked sleepily. 

"Oh I'm so sorry, Gwen. I didn't mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep, I'm going straight to bed." Mildred said quietly. 

"Fancy sharing with me again tonight?" Gwendolyn asked shyly. "Ok, let me just put some pjs on." 

Gwendolyn couldn't tell if she was drunk or not but she didn't care, she was just happy that Mildred had agreed to sleep in the same bed as her. Even if it was just platonic, it made her heart flutter. 

Mildred came out of the bathroom and made sure that the door was locked before climbing into bed with Gwendolyn. 

They both lay facing each other and Gwendolyn could feel the electrifying pulse between them. She knew that there was a connection there but didn't want to push Mildred too much. 

"Well, goodnight then." Gwendolyn whispered before moving to turn over. "Wait, Gwen…" Mildred said, her hand on her arm. 

"What, Millie? I'm tired." Gwendolyn sighed. 

Mildred hesitated before placing a hand on her cheek and moving in to kiss her tenderly. Gwendolyn was shocked, frozen as that was the last thing she had expected. Seconds later her brain registered what was going on and she began to kiss her back. She wound an arm around her waist as Mildred kissed her passionately, her fingers tangling in Gwendolyn's hair. Gwendolyn grabbed her thigh and pulled it over her waist, bringing her even closer. Mildred suddenly stopped and pulled away, her hand flying up to her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Gwendolyn. I'm so so sorry." She gasped. "Why are you sorry? There's nothing to be sorry for. We were both enjoying that as much as each other." Gwendolyn stroked the back of her fingers against Mildred's cheek. 

"I think…I think, I- I have began to develop some sort of...of feelings. I don't know what is going on, I've never felt this way before. I don't know how people approach things like this and how people treat Gay people. I'm sorry if that's awfully ignorant of me. I don't know, maybe this was a mistake…" Mildred said nervously. 

"Hey, calm down. Whatever it is, I'm here for you Mildred. Yes, people are not so accepting of people who are gay or bisexual rather than straight, but who cares what others think?" Gwendolyn replied. 

"I don't wanna tell anyone about this. I still don't fully know what's going on in my head, I'm so confused." Mildred began to get upset so Gwendolyn pulled her into her arms and kissed her forehead. "Shh, it's ok. You don't have to do or tell anyone anything. I don't want you to feel as though I've forced this upon you as well. I'm sorry, the past few weeks have been hard for both of us, it seems. Try and get some sleep now." Gwendolyn whispered, holding her close and trailing her fingers up and down her back to relax her.

Mildred sniffled slightly and snuggled into Gwendolyn, inhaling her scent and taking hold of her pyjama top. Gwendolyn realised just how fragile this girl was in this moment as Mildred clung onto her top, curled up next to her and she made a promise to herself to protect her as much as she possibly could. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to post this. I've been going through some things just lately and it took a lot of motivation to get this wrote. I hope you enjoy 🥺

The next day, they were sat in a coffee shop with some friends that they had made - they were in the room next to theirs and Mildred was really pleased to make friends, especially some in the same building. 

Gwendolyn placed her hand on Mildred's knee under the table, trying to show her some affection but Mildred pushed her hand away. Gwendolyn thought she must've had an itch or something and placed her hand back there but Mildred pushed it away again. 

She thought this was a bit strange but picked her coffee up and took a sip. Come to think of it, Mildred had ignored her for the majority of the time that they were there. 

"So, Gwendolyn. How are your classes going?" One of the girls called Barbara asked her. "Hmm? Oh… yeah, they're going great thanks. The professor is so nice and helpful, I feel quite lucky really." Gwendolyn replied, turning to look at her. 

"Ooh, is he nice looking?" Nancy, the other girl giggled. 

"It's a woman." Gwendolyn laughed and Mildred almost spat her coffee out. "But she is very pretty. Although, I doubt she's any of our type." 

Mildred cleared her throat. "Are there any parties this weekend?" She asked, trying to change the subject. 

"No, but we are thinking of going to that new club that has opened just outside of campus. Are you joining us?" Nancy asked. (The rule for alcohol to be served to 21s and over didn't apply until 1984 in the USA) 

"That sounds like fun! What do you think, Gwendolyn?" Mildred asked a daydreaming Gwendolyn. 

"Yeah, sure. I've never been to a club before so it sounds good." She smiled. 

They discussed times and transport ideas whilst they finished their coffees before heading back to their rooms as it was getting late. 

Mildred could tell Gwendolyn was annoyed because she'd not spoken a word to her on their way back. They finally got inside, and Gwendolyn headed straight into the bathroom, and Mildred took her shoes off before sitting on her bed, picking up the book that she was currently reading. 

Gwendolyn exited the bathroom and Mildred could feel the atmosphere grow tense again. 

"Gwen, what on earth is the matter?" She asked. "Nothing," Gwendolyn replied, standing behind the closet door to change into her pyjamas. 

"I can tell something is wrong, tell me," Mildred demanded, closing her book and walking over to her. She caught a glimpse of Gwendolyn's bare chest as she pulled her tank top on and her mouth went dry. She quickly averted her eyes, not quite understanding the feeling as she'd never felt like that before with a man or a woman. 

"You. That's what's the matter. You've ignored me for most of the night and then I just wanted to put my hand on your knee where nobody could see it, and you pushed it away, twice!" Gwendolyn snapped. "I'm sick of this little game of cat and mouse. You clearly aren't interested in me so please, for both of our sake, make your mind up." 

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I'm just apprehensive about public displays of affection especially given the fact that we're women," Mildred admitted.

"I can't let you mess with my head like this Mildred, I'm sorry. It's not fair on me. I deserve somebody who is going to appreciate me. I understand that you're figuring out your feelings and sexuality…" She was interrupted by Mildred slamming her against the closet door, kissing her fiercely. Gwendolyn moaned into her mouth, completely taken off guard by her actions as her hands found her way to the brunette's ass, squeezing it and bringing her closer as they kissed. 

Mildred's tongue brushed tentatively against Gwendolyn's lips so she parted them and Mildred proceeded to caress her tongue with her own before pulling away, tugging Gwendolyn's bottom lip between her teeth. She moaned, her hands now moving up her back to hold her face. 

Eventually, Mildred pulled away, gasping for air, her hand still resting on Gwendolyn's cheek. "Wow… what was that for?" She chuckled. 

"Well, you wouldn't shut up. So I decided to do something about it." Mildred admitted shyly. "I'm sorry that you feel the way that you do, I'm just gonna need some time to adjust to this because I'm very nervous." 

Gwendolyn gave her a little peck on the lips. "It's ok. Just please don't act like I'm invisible every time we are in the company of other people. It makes me feel so shitty and that you're ashamed. I know we aren't officially dating but it still hurts." 

"I'm sorry Gwen, I didn't mean to make you feel that way." Mildred sniffled. "Shh, it's ok. I understand it took me a while to get used to how I feel and understand that I wasn't even attracted to men. We will go on this journey together. I'm here for you, ok?" She smiled, stroking her cheek. 

"Ok. I'm comfortable with that." Mildred kissed the palm of her hand. 

"I have an idea so it isn't so cramped when we share the same bed. Why don't we push both beds together?" Gwendolyn suggested. 

Mildred giggled. "You're crazy, but that's an excellent idea." She nodded and moved her bedside table out of the way as Gwendolyn did the same and they pushed Mildred's bed against Gwendolyn's. 

"Wow, it's huge now!" Mildred laughed. "I feel like I'm at a sleepover." Gwendolyn grinned, jumping onto the bed. She noticed Mildred go quiet all of a sudden and regretted her choice of words as she knew Mildred had a tough childhood. "I'm sorry, I didn't think…" 

"It's fine! I can't think of anyone better to have my first sleepover with." She grinned, climbing into bed next to Gwendolyn. 

"Careful you don't fall through the crack." Gwendolyn laughed, beginning to tickle her waist. Mildred shrieked and began to squirm, laughing louder than Gwendolyn had ever heard her before. 

"Stoppppp," Mildred whined, still laughing, trying to escape her grasp. 

Gwendolyn stopped and they were both breathing heavily, facing each other. Gwendolyn stroked her hand up and down Mildred's bare arm, her fingers dancing over the skin causing goosebumps to appear. 

"What have you done to me, Mildred Ratched? Every second of the day I want to be in your presence. You're like fresh air on a cold winter's morning, the rainbow after a storm. You're also as fiery as the colours of the sky during sunset and as bright as the North star. I'm so glad that I met you." Gwendolyn whispered, her forehead resting against Mildred's. 

Mildred was taken aback by Gwendolyn's confession but she felt her stomach flip. She'd never heard anyone talk about her that way before. "I'm really glad I met you too." She whispered, kissing her tenderly. 

"Goodnight Gwendolyn." She smiled. 

"Night Millie." 

The next morning, Mildred awoke to the sound of someone knocking on their door. She groaned and untangled herself from Gwendolyn who had wound herself around Mildred. 

She grabbed her robe and quickly put it on before answering the door. 

Once she'd opened the door, she saw Barbara and Nancy standing there. "Hey," Mildred said sleepily. 

"Hi, we were wondering if you and Gwendolyn wanted to grab a coffee before class started?" Nancy asked, trying to peer inside the room over Mildred's shoulder. Mildred moved to block her view. "Um, yeah. Gwendolyn isn't awake yet but we will meet you there. We will be as quick as we can." Mildred smiled, closing the door. 

She rushed over to Gwendolyn and shook her shoulder. "Gwen… Gwen, wake up. We're going for coffee." 

"Come back to bed." She groaned, burying her face into the pillow. 

"No, come on. Classes start in an hour. Get up." Mildred demanded. "They were trying to look inside the room, I hope they didn't see anything." She began to panic, quickly picking out some clothes to wear for the day.

"Mildred, stop worrying and go take a shower." Gwendolyn laughed. Milked huffed and went into the bathroom. 

Gwendolyn sat up and stretched her limbs out whilst she waited for Mildred to finish in the bathroom. They eventually swapped over and finally made their way to the coffee shop. 

Once inside, Gwendolyn went to order their coffees as Mildred sat down with Nancy and Barbara. 

"You were acting strange earlier. Is everything ok?" Barbara asked. 

"Everything's fine, you woke me up knocking on the door so I was a little startled." Mildred laughed. 

Nancy opened her mouth to say something but Gwendolyn came over to the table with the coffees for her and Mildred. 

"Hi girls, how are you?" She asked. Mildred had never been more grateful for her interrupting. 

Barbara and Nancy soon forgot about how Mildred was acting this morning and they chatted and laughed over their coffee before heading to their classes for the day. 

In her free period, Mildred was in the library, listening to her Walkman as she studied and worked on her assignment. 

She was humming along to Michael Jackson, scribbling down her notes when someone covered her eyes with their hands. She almost shrieked with surprise but stopped herself as she was in the library. She turned around to see Gwendolyn trying not to laugh. "Surprise!" She whisper shouted. "I've come to rescue you from boredom." 

"Where are we going?" She laughed quietly. 

"Shopping! We need something to wear tomorrow night. Come on, pack your stuff up." 

They left the library and got the bus into town to the main shopping centre. 

In the first store, Mildred noticed an emerald green velvet dress. She had fallen in love with it and already planned out in her head what she was going to wear with it. Her blazer with the shoulder pads, fishnet tights and ankle boots. She grabbed two different sizes because she wasn't too sure what the sizing was like before going to find Gwendolyn. 

"I'm just gonna go try this on, Gwen." She said. "I have a few things to try on too so I'll come with you," Gwendolyn replied, holding several items of clothing up. 

They headed to the dressing room and went into separate cubicles. Mildred began to get undressed so she could put the dress on. There was a zip on the side which was handy. Once the dress was on, she knew she had to buy it. It fit like a glove even though it looked better without a bra. “Gwen, are you finished?” she asked. “Yep, I’m just putting the trousers on,” Gwendolyn replied. 

Mildred pulled open the curtain and stepped out and Gwendolyn followed seconds later. 

Gwendolyn's jaw dropped when she saw the dress that Mildred had got on. "Wow…you look amazing." She gasped. 

"You look pretty good yourself." Mildred blushed, her eyes roaming over Gwendolyn's outfits. 

She had chosen a black and grey small check jumpsuit that had a belt around the waist and it was extremely low cut, the neckline reaching where the belt started. "Actually, you look really hot." She smirked. 

"Come on, let's go and pay and look around the other stores." Mildred grinned, going back into the cubicle. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon shopping and then went back to the college and spent the night pampering each other in preparation for their night out. 

It was close to midnight and Mildred was laying in-between Gwendolyn's legs, her back against her chest. They had Mildred's mixtape on quietly and some candles lit. "This is so nice." She sighed, turning her head to nuzzle Gwendolyn's neck, kissing it delicately. 

"We'd better get some sleep." Gwendolyn yawned, squeezing Mildred tighter. 

They settled down to go to sleep and kissed each other good night, falling asleep with their fingers intertwined facing each other. 

The next day passed by in a blur and Mildred was so grateful of this as she couldn't wait to go out tonight. Although, she was apprehensive about how she would act around Gwendolyn when she was drunk. They would have to be careful unless there was other gay people in the club. 

She rushed home after her classes to get ready. She showered and shaved her legs, applied moisturiser. She then sat down to apply some make up. She decided to go for a smoky eye and bright red lipstick - the perfect contrast with her emerald green dress. She heard the door close and from the mirror she could hear Gwendolyn walk into the room. "Hi! I got us some beers for before we go out." Gwendolyn grinned, handing one to her. "Ooh thanks, I've just gotta do my hair." Mildred smiled, taking a drink out of the bottle before proceeding to put the heated rollers in her hair. "I'm gonna go take a shower." Gwendolyn told her before going into the bathroom. 

Mildred smiled and went back to doing her hair. She took the rollers out and ran a wide toothed comb through to brush the curls out to give them more volume then spraying more hairspray than should be legal. 

Gwendolyn walked out of the bathroom and coughed. "Jesus, Mildred. Have you used enough hairspray?" She laughed. "Woops, sorry." Mildred giggled. 

Gwendolyn shook her head and began to get ready. Mildred was done so she stood up to go into the bathroom to get changed into her outfit. 

She pulled on fishnet tights first and then her dress without a bra because it looked better without. Then her blazer and ankle boots. She put some big hoop earrings in and a chunky chain around her neck. She rolled her sleeves up on her blazer and sprayed some perfume before leaving the bathroom to go and retrieve her beer. 

"Wow. You look amazing." Gwendolyn said, looking her up and down, appreciating the way her dress pushed her breasts up and hugged all of her curves under the blazer. 

"Thank you. I cant wait to see you in your outfit!" Mildred squealed before downing the rest of her beer and opening another one. 

They chatted, drank beers and listened to music as Gwendolyn finished getting ready. Once she was dressed, Mildred couldn't keep her eyes off her. "It's gonna be so hard to keep my hands off you tonight." Gwendolyn said, snapping Mildred out of the dirty thoughts running through her mind. 

"We will have to find a dark corner to make out." She laughed, slightly tipsy. 

"Come on you, let's go. Nancy and Barbara should be ready now." 

Mildred downed the last of her drink and grabbed her clutch bag before following Gwendolyn out of the door. 

They knocked on Barbara and Nancy's door and they all headed out to the cab that they had pre booked. 

A short car ride later, they'd arrived at the club and went straight inside. It was heaving inside. Music pounding and the bar really busy. Mildred had never witnessed anything like it in her life. "Wow." She laughed, clinging onto Gwendolyn’s arm. 

"Come on, let's go and get a drink!" Gwendolyn shouted, unsure of where Barbara and Nancy had disappeared to but she was sure they would find them eventually. 

They got drinks and had some shots before heading to the dancefloor. 

Time passed by and they were both quite drunk and dancing together. "I really wanna kiss you right now…" Gwendolyn slurred, shouting in Mildred's ear. Mildred giggled, turning her head to shout into Gwendolyn's ear but their lips ended up meeting. Mildred closed her eyes and kissed her passionately, her arms winding around Gwendolyn's neck as Gwendolyn pulled her closer. 

They didn't know that Barbara and Nancy were standing behind them, gaping at what they were doing. 

Mildred suddenly realised what was going on and pulled away, unable to believe that they had kissed so passionately in public, in the middle of the dance floor. Barbara walked over to them. "What just happened there?" She shouted. 

"Nothing. It was a mistake." Mildred quickly replied. Gwendolyn scoffed. "A mistake? Is that all I am to you, Mildred?" She rolled her eyes and stormed off to go and grab a drink, trying to hide how hurt she was. 

"Are you… gay, Mildred?" Nancy asked, looking her up and down in disgust. 

"No of course not! We've just had too much to drink. It was a mistake and it shouldn't of happened." Mildred replied, feeling the panic rising inside of her. 

"I'm gonna go get a drink." She said, walking down the steps to the bar. 

She spotted Gwendolyn straight away even in her drunken state and went over to her. "Gwendolyn, can we talk?" She asked. 

"Fuck off, Mildred. I don't want to talk to you." Gwendolyn shouted, downing the several shots she had just purchased. 

"Please, I'm sorry!" Mildred replied. 

"No, Mildred. I'm sick of being treated this way. I'm going back to the dorm, don't bother coming after me." Gwendolyn was really angry at this point and left her drink behind, storming out of the club. 

Mildred grabbed the drink and downed it in one before running after her, bumping into several people on the way. 

"Sorry…" she slurred, finally reaching the door and stepping outside. 

She saw Gwendolyn flagging down a cab and ran over to her quickly. 

"Gwen, wait!" She shouted, almost there. 

Gwendolyn turned around, tears in her eyes. "I thought I'd told you to fuck off." She scoffed, wiping underneath her eyes with her finger to collect the tears. 

A cab finally pulled up and Gwendolyn got inside so Mildred rushed around to the other side and got in. 

"What the hell are you doing?!" Gwendolyn shouted. 

"I'm coming home with you. I think we need to talk." Mildred said quietly. 

"I can't even look at you right now." Gwendolyn replied through gritted teeth. 

The taxi ride home was really tense and Mildred felt like she was going to throw up at any second- she was unsure whether that was the alcohol or how upset Gwendolyn was. 

Mildred pulled her shoes off once the cab pulled up outside of their building and stumbled out as soon as the cab stopped. 

She walked rather wobbly towards their room and almost fell up the steps several times as Gwendolyn followed her. 

Mildred reached their room first and slammed the door in Gwendolyn's face. This just enraged Gwendolyn even more and she threw the door open. "I don't know why you're angry, Mildred." She laughed. "You're the one who's just embarrassed me in front of a lot of people." 

"I didn't embarrass you, Gwendolyn. I've told you before that I'm still unsure of my feelings and the way that I process this...us. I don't know. I'm so confused and anxious about what everyone will think. Why did you kiss me?! Especially in public in front of all of those people!" Mildred shouted. 

"Oh my god… you don't see it do you. I fucking love you, Mildred! I love you and all you ever do is push me away!" Gwendolyn shrieked, tears pouring down her face. 

Mildred sat there, mouth open, unsure of what to say to her. 

"I'm done with this shit. I'm done playing games. You either want to be with me or you lose me, Mildred. I'm so sick of it. You kiss and cuddle me and make me feel like you want this to work and then you do shit like that! There were other girls kissing in that club but you had to freak out! What is your problem?" She asked. "Actually, I don't want to hear it. I'm out of here." She said, grabbing a sweater and storming out of the room.

Mildred quickly got up and followed her. "Gwendolyn, come back!" She shouted but Gwendolyn was too quick and soon disappeared out of sight. Mildred slid down the wall and sobbed, unable to believe how wrong their night had turned out to be.   



	4. Chapter 4

Mildred woke up on the floor of their room several hours later, unsure of how she'd managed to get there. 

The sun was streaming into the room and Mildred groaned, covering her eyes as she attempted to sit up. As soon as she did this, an overwhelming wave of nausea washed over her and she got up and sprinted into the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. 

Once she had finished, she slumped on the floor, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She'd never had a hangover this bad before but then again, she'd never been as drunk as she was last night. 

As she sat there, she replayed what she could remember of last night in her mind. Gwendolyn kissing her in the club, her freaking out, following Gwendolyn out of the club and then their argument. She put her head in her hands and began to cry, she was an idiot and knew that she'd blown it this time. 

Why would Gwendolyn want to be with someone as messed up as me? She thought to herself as she sobbed. She was nothing and Gwendolyn had done herself a favour by storming off last night. 

But one thing that stood out to Mildred the most was the emptiness she felt inside. Her heart physically ached because she desperately wanted to make things right with Gwendolyn again but she didn't think she ever could now. Gwendolyn was so angry last night and Mildred knew it was justifiable because she'd acted like a child. She was just so confused, she'd never felt like this in her life. Most of the time, she was just numb and emotionless - partly due to what had happened in the past and partly to do with the fact that she kept her guard up at all times. She didn't trust easily and that made it difficult to form relationships with anyone. 

She'd never been with a woman before, only boys. But that was only because she thought that was right for her and what she'd been told. 

She finally managed to pull herself together and flushed the toilet before stripping out of last nights clothes and getting into the shower. She wished that the water that felt so heavenly on her skin could heal the ache inside of her and make everything that had happened last night disappear, but it couldn't. She stood with her back to the water and leant her forehead against the tiles opposite to her. She began to cry again, unable to control the emotions rushing through her body at that moment. 

She was so messed up and she didn't deserve happiness. She'd hurt Gwendolyn like she hurt everyone else who ever cared about her. She deserved the pain, she convinced herself of this. 

Little did she know, Gwendolyn had come back to the room and could hear her wailing as she cried. Gwendolyn was shocked to hear this but decided to stay where she was, she was still too angry. 

She pushed her bed back to where it was before so it wasn't joined with Mildred's, quickly changed into some pyjamas and climbed into bed. Mildred eventually calmed down and Gwendolyn heard the shower stop. 

Minutes later, she heard the bathroom door open and closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. She heard Mildred shuffling around as she got dressed and heard her sniffling - she was still crying and this made Gwendolyn feel slightly guilty but she was going to stand her ground. 

Mildred finished getting dressed and turned to face the beds. She stifled a sob when she saw that Gwendolyn had separated their beds. She trudged over to her own bed and climbed into it, pulling the comforter right up to her chin. "I'm sorry, Gwendolyn. I'm so sorry." She sniffled, unsure if Gwendolyn was awake but she wanted to say it regardless. 

She turned over and closed her eyes, exhausted from crying and her hangover. Maybe if she slept for a while, she could escape the pain in her heart. 

When Mildred woke up again, it was dark. She couldn't believe that she'd slept through the entire day. She sat up and looked over to Gwendolyn's side of the room and saw that she was awake, staring at the ceiling. 

"Hey." She said quietly, gaining the attention of Gwendolyn. "Can we talk please?" She asked. 

"I don't know if I want to talk to you right now, Mildred. I'm still extremely upset and hurt. I don't want to lash out at you." She sighed. 

"Ok…I'm gonna go grab something to eat. Do you want anything?" Mildred asked. 

Gwendolyn nodded. "I'll just have what you're having." 

Mildred got out of bed and changed her pj bottoms for a pair of sweatpants and put a hoodie on over her pj top, putting some sneakers on before leaving the room to go and get some food. 

Gwendolyn lay there once Mildred left the room, a thousand thoughts running through her mind. 

She still didn't know what to do about Mildred and what had happened last night. She wanted to talk to her but she was still too hurt. 

Instead of moping, she decided to get out of bed and go take a shower - perhaps that would make her feel a little better and clear her head. 

As she stood under the shower head, the hot water droplets running down her skin, she took time to reflect and analyse the events of the previous night. She wished she wouldn't torture herself over it but the scene kept replaying over and over in her head. The disgust on Mildred's face, the way she'd moved away. And then, her crying and following her out of the club. Them dancing together, having a good time - acting like teenagers who didn't have a care in the world. Why on earth did things have to go so horribly wrong? 

She sighed and washed her hair, massaging her scalp with her fingertips to try and ease the tension headache that had been bothering her all day. Once her hair was clean, she grabbed a sponge and washed her body and she couldn't help but wish that it was Mildred's hands touching her, not the sponge. She opened her eyes and shook herself out of her little fantasy before rinsing the suds off and turning the shower off. 

She wrapped a fluffy towel around her body and gently rubbed her hair with another towel to get the excess moisture out. 

Peering around the bathroom door, she saw that Mildred hadn't come back yet so she quickly went to her dresser and pulled out some clean underwear and a t shirt and some shorts to lounge in. 

She had put the underwear and shorts on along with a sports bra as it was comfortable when Mildred walked through the door. "Oh, I'm sorry." Mildred gasped, quickly turning around, her heart racing. 

Gwendolyn quickly pulled the oversized t shirt over her head before clearing her throat. "You can turn around now." She said flatly. 

Mildred turned to face her and handed her the paper bag with her food in it before sitting down on her own bed to devour what she had gotten for them. 

The atmosphere was so thick you could cut it with a knife in the room as they ate. Mildred couldn't stand the silence any longer and reached over to turn the radio on to create some background noise. 

"I thought you wanted to talk?" Gwendolyn asked.

"Well we were just sitting in silence. I couldn't stand the quiet anymore." Mildred replied, raising an eyebrow. 

Gwendolyn rolled her eyes before drinking her smoothie - Mildred had even got her favourite. "Look, I'm sorry I kissed you in that club and I'm sorry that I pushed you too much when you clearly weren't ready. I should've respected that. It's just, you looked absolutely stunning last night and I've developed some very deep feelings for you. I can't help it. I-I don't know if you were just stringing me along for a bit of fun or if you actually reciprocate those feelings. Every girl I've developed feelings like this for has either completely ignored me, cheated on me or left me for someone else. Am I really that bad?" Gwendolyn's voice was quiet, showing her vulnerability. 

"When I look at you Mildred, your beauty and radiance literally makes my heart ache. So please, tell me now if you do not possess the same feelings because I don't know how much more I can take. I just want to be loved and appreciated." Her bottom lip began to wobble as she tried to stop herself from crying. 

Mildred cast her food aside and got up to go and comfort Gwendolyn. "You are not a bad person, Gwen. You have a huge heart and you are one of the most wonderful people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I'm so sorry I've made you feel this way. It's all my fault. I'm the bad person. When I was in foster homes and being passed around from family to family, it was drilled into me that gay people were sinners. Funnily enough, most of my foster parents were Catholic and they were so strict. T-that's why I freaked out last night. And I know that shouldn't cloud my beliefs or feelings. But it does. I'm still traumatised by it all. I'm so sorry Gwendolyn. Please forgive me." Mildred said, taking hold of Gwendolyn's hand. 

"I had no idea. I'm sorry too. I was wrong to have pushed you." Gwendolyn replied, lifting her other hand to brush away a tear rolling down Mildred's cheek. 

"I do want to be with you, if you still want me. I just want it to be us for a little while." Mildred admitted, leaning into her touch. 

"I can work with that." Gwendolyn smiled, brushing her hair back away from her eyes. Mildred looked at her, the atmosphere changing in the room again but this time it wasn't tense. It was filled with lust and longing. She lifted her head and kissed Gwendolyn tenderly, she didn't want to overstep any boundaries. Gwendolyn kissed her back, cupping her cheek - she was so glad that they'd spoken about last night as she didn't think she'd be able to cope if they were over, whatever they were anyway. 

Mildred kissed her with more passion, igniting a fire inside of Gwendolyn. She grabbed her hips and pulled her closer as Mildred decided to straddle her waist as they kissed. Gwendolyn placed her hands on her back and pressed her closer, not even an inch between their bodies, but she wished their clothes weren't in the way. Mildred pulled away to catch her breath, resting her forehead against Gwendolyn’s. She laughed quietly as Gwendolyn's hands were now on her ass. She kissed her softly again, biting her bottom lip gently causing Gwendolyn to let out a moan. 

They ended up kissing in a heated, passionate frenzy to the point where Gwendolyn's hands had made their way up Mildred's sweater, cupping her breast in one hand and her hand squeezing her waist with the other. It was taking all of her self control to take her clothes off and show her how much she meant to her, but she knew Mildred wasn't ready for that so the kissing would be fine until then. She tweaked Mildred's nipple through the delicate lace of the bra that she was wearing, causing Mildred to gasp into her mouth. 

Gwendolyn pulled away this time, placing kisses along her jaw before nibbling her earlobe and kissing the spot just behind which made Mildred shiver with delight. Gwendolyn smirked, she'd found her weak spot. She placed open-mouthed kisses down her neck and along her decolletage, sucking the sensitive skin as she went, Mildred squirming and moaning softly. 

"I...I, uh. I d-don't know if I'm ready for...that yet." Mildred could barely talk, her judgement heavily clouded by her arousal and the way Gwendolyn was making her feel. 

Gwendolyn lifted her head to look at her. "Well, we will wait. Because, when that does happen, I am going to blow your mind. But I'm happy to wait until you are ready." She smiled, kissing Mildred's nose. 

Mildred wound her arms around her neck and hugged her closely. "Thank you for being so understanding. I know things got very heated then but I appreciate you stopping. I'm sorry I can't go all of the way. I just want our first time together to be special. Not on the back of what happened last night." 

"Shh, you have nothing to be sorry for." Gwendolyn reassured her. 

"Come on, let's get some sleep. I'm still exhausted and it's getting late." Gwendolyn said as Mildred yawned. 

They were too tired to push the beds back together so they just settled to sleep in Gwendolyn's bed, Gwendolyn curled around Mildred almost in a protective way. 

"G'night." Mildred muttered, falling asleep seconds later. 

"I love you." Gwendolyn whispered, soon following Mildred into a deep slumber. 


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks had passed by and it was the end of the semester already so everyone was preparing to go home for the holidays. 

Mildred's and Gwendolyn's relationship was stronger than ever - Gwendolyn had learnt not to push Mildred too much and Mildred had learnt to open up to Gwendolyn. They had a small group of people that they trusted with the truth about them but they preferred to keep their relationship behind closed doors anyway and away from prying eyes. 

"I don't know how I'm going to cope without you for two weeks." Gwendolyn sighed, zipping her suitcase up. 

"You will be fine, we both will." Mildred grinned as she folded her clothes up to take with her. 

"Where are you staying again?" Gwendolyn asked. "With a friend. I go there every Christmas." Mildred replied. Truthfully, she wasn't staying with a friend. She was going to find a motel and spend the holidays on her own. Not ideal but she was embarrassed because she had no family to go home to. 

"Why don't you come home with me? My parents won't mind you know, they're never in the house long enough to notice anyway." Gwendolyn said, sitting down next to her. 

"I don't want to intrude. Thank you for the offer though." 

"You wouldn't be, I've already cleared it with my mom." Gwendolyn replied, being careful not to push her too much. 

"Honestly, Gwen. It's fine. You are so thoughtful and kind." Mildred smiled, kissing her softly. 

"You have 24 hours if you want to change your mind. Now come on, let's get ready to go out for drinks with the girls for the holidays." Gwendolyn stood up and went into the bathroom to take a shower. 

Mildred had already taken a shower earlier that day so she went to pick out her outfit. She decided on a red corset dress with black mesh along the bottom and under the skirt and mesh sleeves. 

She paired this with some pantyhose and some black platform pumps. 

She got dressed and sat down at their desk/dressing table and began to do her makeup. By the time she had finished doing this, Gwendolyn had finished in the bathroom and came out wearing her underwear. "You look stunning." She smiled, dropping a kiss on the top of Mildred's head. "Don't expect me to keep my hands to myself tonight." She smirked, moving away to get dressed. 

Mildred laughed and took her hair out of the French braids she had put in last night. Once she'd done so, she ran a wide toothed comb through it to give it more volume and tied some of it up before spraying probably more hairspray than necessary. 

"Right, I'm ready." She said, standing up and slipping her shoes on. 

"I'm so tempted just to stay in with you looking like that…" Gwendolyn's mouth dropped open. 

Mildred's long legs were elongated by the shoes she was wearing and her dress hit her mid thigh, her breasts pushed up by the dress. 

"No, we promised. We are going for a few hours. Once we are there we will be fine." Mildred grinned, kissing Gwendolyn softly. 

"Right, I'm gonna pour us a drink while you get ready." She grabbed two solo cups and poured them a healthy measure of vodka and soda. 

Gwendolyn quickly got ready to go out, throwing on a black jumpsuit with an acid wash denim jacket. They downed the rest of their drinks before heading out, getting a cab to the bar. 

As they walked in they spotted their friends who shouted their names. Mildred giggled and tugged on Gwendolyn's hand, leading them over to the table. 

"Hi everyone! Are we ready to get festively drunk?" Mildred asked. "What kind of question is that, duh!" Barbara replied, laughing. "What do you want to drink, Gwen?" She asked, turning to the strawberry blonde who had her arm around her waist. 

"I'll have a long island iced tea, darling." She smiled. 

Mildred went over to the bar as Gwendolyn sat down next to Nancy. "How are you and Mildred getting on?" Nancy asked, being nosy as usual. 

"Like a house on fire. I'm trying to convince her to come home with me for the holidays." Gwendolyn replied. 

"You've left it a bit late haven't you? We're going home tomorrow." Nancy snorted, her tone bitchy. 

"I don't appreciate your tone." Gwendolyn said sharply, turning to see what Mildred was doing. She instantly felt calmer as she saw her walking towards the table, her full concentration was on not spilling any of their drinks. She looked adorable Gwendolyn thought to herself. "Come on everyone, make room for Mildred in the booth!" Barbara called and everyone shuffled along and Mildred sat next to Gwendolyn, handing her the drink. "Thanks baby." Gwendolyn smiled, placing her hand on her thigh. 

Mildred smiled and picked her cocktail up, clinking glasses with Gwendolyn. "Cheers, my love." 

Several hours and more cocktails than they could count later, they were both very tipsy and giggling at a joke that one of the girls had just told them. Gwendolyn's hand was getting higher and higher on Mildred's thigh the drunker they got. "Why don't we get out of here?" Gwendolyn whispered in her ear, her finger brushing against the edge of her panties. 

Mildred bit her lip to stop herself from making any noise, Gwendolyn had teased her all night and she was very aroused. They hadn't had sex yet and Mildred decided that tonight was going to be the night that they did. 

"Give me half an hour then come back to the room. I have a surprise." Mildred whispered back. "Guys, I'm gonna head home. I have a headache. Gwendolyn is gonna stay here for a little longer." Mildred announced as she stood up. 

Everyone said goodbye and Mildred left the bar, getting a taxi back. 

She raced up the stairs to their room, unlocked the door and shut it behind her. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves before getting to work. 

She tidied everything away as quickly as possible, tidying the comforters on the bed before lighting several candles that were around their room. 

She then went to the closet and got out the red bag that contained her purchases from a month ago - she had purchased them whilst they were on sale and planned to wear them for her first time with Gwendolyn.

She pulled the items out of the bag and went into the bathroom in case Gwendolyn came back early. 

She stripped her clothes off and had a quick wash just to make sure that she was fresh and clean before getting to work putting the garments on. 

First was the corset style top. It was purple lace with very small cups that barely covered her nipples. 

She loosened the strings at the front so that she could pull it over her head. Once she had adjusted it, she pulled the strings and tied them to secure them. 

She looked in the mirror and almost gasped. The way that the corset pushed her breasts up was crazy, she knew Gwendolyn would lose her mind when she saw her. 

Next were the panties - if they could even be called that. It was a triangle of the same lace of her corset and then just string. Once this was on, she slid the lace top stockings up her legs and grabbed the satin robe that matched her lingerie and put that on too, leaving it open. 

She sprayed some perfume and cleaned her teeth before putting some lipstick on. She checked the time and saw that the 30 minutes were up and Gwendolyn would be back soon. 

She left the bathroom and had a shot of vodka to calm her nerves. She'd never been with another girl before, only men so she was totally out of her comfort zone. 

She had another shot of vodka, turning the record player on. She knew they had cassette players but she preferred vinyl. She chose some calm, relaxing music and once happy with her choice, she sat on the bed waiting for Gwendolyn to return. 

Gwendolyn was on her way back, the anticipation giving her butterflies. 

She practically threw the dollar bills at the taxi driver and scrambled out, walking quickly up to their room. 

She stopped outside to catch her breath to appear calm before walking inside, closing the door behind her. 

She looked around the room, noticing the candles and music playing in the background and then she focused on Mildred - she was so in love with this woman it was crazy. 

"Hello." Mildred said, moving to stand up. Gwendolyn cleared her throat when she saw what Mildred was wearing. 

"Holy shit, Millie. Where have you been hiding that?" She asked, her eyes tracing her body from the tip of her toes to her head. 

"I got it a while ago." Mildred replied nonchalantly, one shoulder of the robe dropping down. 

"You look absolutely stunning as usual. And very sexy, am I dreaming?" Gwendolyn kicked her shoes off before taking her jacket off, throwing it to one side. Mildred approached her, her hands reaching out to Gwendolyn's waist as she kissed her softly. 

It took all of Gwendolyn's self control to not tear the lingerie off Mildred's body but she knew how nervous she was so she decided to take it slow. 

Gwendolyn grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, her hands slipping under the robe to grab her ass as she kissed her with more passion. 

Mildred whimpered as Gwendolyn kneaded her ass with her hands, tilting her head back as the strawberry blondes lips ghosted along her jawline and down her neck. 

"B-bed…let's get on the bed." She stuttered, unable to speak properly. 

Gwendolyn smirked and tugged the robe off of Mildred. "Turn around, please." She whispered. 

Mildred did so and Gwendolyn took her time to admire the sight in front of her. Her ass on show, her long legs and the colour of the lingerie a stark contrast against her creamy pale skin. "I'm so glad you got this underwear." She murmured, dropping a kiss on her shoulder as she lifted her hands to cup her breasts. She sucked delicately at the skin on Mildred's neck, causing her to moan, biting her lip. 

One of Gwendolyn's hands wandered down to her panties. "I don't think you can class these as panties you know, they're much too small - not that I'm complaining." She brushed her fingers against Mildred's centre causing her to jolt with surprise. 

She turned Mildred around to face her again, kissing her passionately. She backed up towards the bed and fell back onto it, pulling Mildred with her. 

Mildred shrieked, laughing as she fell on top of Gwendolyn. 

She quickly moved her legs so she was straddling Gwendolyn's waist, grinding her hips against hers. Gwendolyn moaned into her mouth, her fingers quickly undoing the laces on her corset, growing impatient due to how difficult it was. She managed to successfully pull it off, peppering kisses over Mildred's chest before capturing a nipple in her mouth. Mildred arched her back, cradling Gwendolyn's head as she circled her tongue. Mildred whimpered when she pulled away, sad that it had ended. 

"Why did you stop?" She asked, kissing Gwendolyn again. Gwendolyn pulled away, smirking. "Because my mouth can't be in two places at once. Get off me please and lie down." She smiled, stroking her cheek. Mildred complied, laying down. Gwendolyn stood up, kicking her shoes off before unzipping her jumpsuit, letting it fall to the floor. Mildred gasped, over at her. "Gwendolyn, you are so beautiful." She smiled, holding her hand out to Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn took her hand and climbed onto the bed. 

She hovered above her and began to kiss down her body, taking her time. Mildred was squirming and trembling beneath her as Gwendolyn trailed her fingers on the inside of her calves, slowly inching towards her thighs, her fingers ghosting over the nylon material. 

Mildred felt as though she was floating on air as Gwendolyn nipped at the skin just above her stockings. A few touches and kisses and there was a very prominent throb between her legs. She wanted to cross her legs just to get some relief but there was no way that this could be achieved with Gwendolyn inbetween them. She whined as Gwendolyn sucked her inner thigh, leaving a hickey behind. Every touch felt as though her skin was being set on fire and she couldn't get enough. Gwendolyn tugged her panties down before removing the stockings so that Mildred was completely naked beneath her. She rose up onto her knees to admire the view. Mildred looked absolutely stunning. Her hair was fanned out beneath her, her lips were red and bee-stung from their passionate kisses and there were little red marks dotted over her neck and chest, her nipples erect with arousal and her chest heaving. "I love you, so much Mildred. I'm so lucky to have someone as stunning, kind and caring as you. I can't wait to show you just how much you mean to me. I'm going to start now, if you want me to stop at any time I want you to tell me." She said, leaning down to kiss her. 

Mildred nodded, biting her lip as Gwendolyn knelt on the floor and pulled her hips so that she was in the perfect position.

She blew out a breath, suddenly feeling very nervous. She ignored the nerves and lifted each of Mildred's legs over her shoulders. She placed her hands on her ass to tilt her hips before pressing a delicate kiss against her pubic bone. Mildred inhaled shakily, her arousal reaching a new height - nobody had ever paid this much attention to her sexually before. 

Gwendolyn used two fingers to spread her labia and blew lightly over her clit causing Mildred's hips to jolt. She stopped herself from diving straight in when she saw how sensitive she was, instead opting to lick the length of her centre slowly until she reached her clit, lathing her tongue around it. Mildred whimpered, her hands clinging onto the bedsheets. Gwendolyn took this as a sign of approval and proceeded to do it again, this time flicking her tongue which caused Mildred to moan, quite loudly. She threw her hand over her own mouth, unable to believe the sound that had just come from her. Gwendolyn lifted her head. "No, I want to hear you, Mildred. Don't be ashamed." She smirked. "Besides, that won't keep you quiet once I'm finished with you." 

Mildred gulped, removing her hand as Gwendolyn went back to her original position. She pulled her closer and buried her face in between her legs, using her tongue and mouth to pleasure her. She could feel Mildred's legs trembling already and she'd barely gotten started. 

She moved one hand and slid a finger inside of her, her mouth still on her clit. She felt how wet she was and slid another one inside. She pumped her fingers quickly and Mildred's moans were getting louder and higher, her thighs clamping around her head. She pulled away for a breath, kissing her thigh, still using her fingers. 

Mildred inhaled sharply, an overwhelming feeling washing over her. She'd heard people talk about this feeling before and she knew what was coming - her orgasm. She'd never experienced one before and she couldn't think of a better person to give her the first one. 

Once Gwendolyn had gained her breath back, she moved her head back down swirling her tongue in a figure 8. She could feel Mildred tighten around her fingers and applied more pressure, creating a vacuum over her clit, sucking as she flicked her tongue faster. 

Mildred reached orgasm and her whole body trembled, her moans reaching a crescendo before she fell silent, her chest heaving, sweat beading on her forehead. She'd never felt anything quite as euphoric as what she'd just experienced. She felt like she was weightless and the world just faded away. 

Gwendolyn pulled away, pleased with herself due to Mildred's reaction and the fact that she was still trembling now. 

She climbed onto the bed next to Mildred and kissed her forehead. 

"How was that, my love?" She asked, stroking her cheek. 

"Well...I, um have never had that happen to me before so I don't have anything to compare it to. But it was absolutely amazing, I've never felt anything like it. I love you." Mildred replied, her eyes filling with tears as she became emotional. 

Gwendolyn was gobsmacked. She'd never told her that she loved her before. And she was even more shocked that she'd never experienced an orgasm before. "I love you too, Mildred. So so much" She replied, leaning down to kiss her delicately. 

"Say you'll come home with me for the holidays? Please? I won't ask again, I promise. This is the last time." Gwendolyn said. "I want to share this special time of year with the woman that I am madly in love with."

Mildred took a moment to think about it and she knew it was right for her to go with Gwendolyn- it was definitely better than spending it in a motel room alone. 

She nodded, a smile spreading over her face. "Of course I will go with you. Besides, I need you to teach me how to do what you've just done to me so I can reciprocate." 

"Don't worry about that, baby." Gwendolyn smiled. "I'm so glad that you've agreed to come home with me. I can't wait for my parents to meet you." She kissed her again, pouring all of the love and passion she could into the kiss. 

They spent the rest of the night tangled up in each other in the candle light, the music still playing in the background and Mildred even made love to Gwendolyn for the first time too. 

When they eventually fell asleep, it was the early hours of the morning but they didn't care. They had reached a milestone in their relationship and Mildred was so excited to reach even more with Gwendolyn in the future. 

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

The next day, they woke up around noon in a panic. "I told my mom we'd be there for 3!" Gwendolyn shrieked, dragging a brush through her hair as she attempted to put her pants on at the same time. 

Mildred couldn't help but laugh at her. "Calm down, Gwen. I'm sure your mom will survive if we are a little late." She reassured her. 

"No, you don't understand. She is the strictest person I've ever met. It took me days to convince her to let you come with me and if I'm late, I will never hear the end of it." Gwendolyn replied frantically. 

"Just calm down and take deep breaths. We did all of our packing yesterday so all we need to do is get ready and then we can be on our way." Mildred grabbed her arms so that she would stop panicking. 

Gwendolyn sighed and buried her head into Mildred's shoulder. "My parents don't know that I'm gay. I've not told them yet and I don't really plan to either. So you will have to be introduced as my 'friend'. I'm sorry, Mildred. That's why I'm so panicked. I can't tell them, they're so against gay people. I'm so so sorry." She sniffed. Mildred was shocked but wrapped her arms around the woman that she was madly in love with. "Shh, it will all be good. You'll see. I love you. I don't mind being your 'friend' for a few days. They don't need to know about us anyway." She reassured her. "Come on, we need to make a move soon to get there on time." She kissed Gwendolyn's forehead before moving away to go take a shower. 

By some sort of miracle, they were both ready in thirty minutes and raced down to Mildred's car to put their luggage in the trunk. 

They drove to San Jose where Gwendolyn's parents live, Mildred drove whilst Gwendolyn gave her directions- they even got lost a few times and couldn't stop laughing at their own stupidity. 

Once the crisis of them being lost was over, they were finally headed in the right direction and after an hour, they were pulling up to gates of Gwendolyn's house. 

Mildred was dumbfounded at the sight. This house was big enough to be a mansion, surely?! She thought to herself as Gwendolyn typed the code in for the gate. 

Mildred drove up the driveway once the gates had opened. "Where shall I park?" She asked Gwendolyn. 

"Anywhere, as long as it's not blocking anyone else." Gwendolyn replied, smiling brightly. 

"So, when were you going to tell me that you live in an actual mansion?" She laughed. 

"It's not a mansion...just a very large house." Gwendolyn murmured, her face flushing red. 

Mildred giggled as she pulled into a space and parked her car. 

She turned the engine off and got out. Gwendolyn followed soon after. "Leave the luggage, we can come grab that later or the housekeeper." 

Mildred raised an eyebrow, smiling at Gwendolyn. "Ok, let's go." 

Gwendolyn nodded and took a deep breath as they walked up to the house. She let herself in and Mildred followed. "Mom, dad?" She shouted and seconds later a middle aged man walked out of a room who was the spitting image of Gwendolyn. "Gwen, darling! It's so good to see you." He chuckled, throwing his arms around Gwendolyn. "Hi dad, lovely to see you too." She grinned, hugging him back.

He pulled away and looked at Mildred. "And who might this beautiful young lady be?" He asked.

Mildred flushed bright red, not many people had called her beautiful in her lifetime. "I'm uh, I'm Mildred Ratched. It's a pleasure to meet you sir and what a lovely home you have." She smiled nervously, holding her hand out for him to shake. He ignored this and pulled her in for a hug. "Call me Bill. Sir makes me feel old." He chuckled. 

Mildred froze, unsure of what to do before patting his back lightly. She managed to escape his hug and picked at the hem of her top. 

"Where's mom?" Gwendolyn asked to take the attention off Mildred. 

"She's just gone to the store to get some things. Why don't you go and freshen up and I will shout you once she's home?" 

Gwendolyn nodded. "Come on, Millie. I'll show you to your room." 

Mildred smiled and followed Gwendolyn up the windy staircase. 

They walked down the hallway to two doorways. "This one is my room. And this…" she said as she opened the door to the guest bedroom. "Will be 'yours'." She air quoted with her fingers. "I'm assuming you will just come and get in bed with me anyway. My mom and dad don't even sleep on this floor so we are safe." She shrugged her shoulders. 

"Too right I'll be getting in bed with you." Mildred snickered, grabbing Gwendolyn by the front of her top, pulling her inside of the bedroom and kicking the door shut as she slammed her lips onto the strawberry blondes. 

Gwendolyn moaned softly, tangling her hair in her fist as they kissed passionately, Mildred grabbing Gwendolyn's ass with one hand and the other wrapped around the back of her neck. 

Gwendolyn heard the door shut from downstairs and the telltale sound of her mothers heels on the hardwood floor. 

She instantly jumped away from Mildred leaving the brunette shocked. 

"We'd better go and greet my mom." She said sheepishly. 

Mildred sighed and followed her downstairs to go and greet her mom as requested. 

They got settled and ate dinner with Gwendolyn's parents before retiring for the night as they both wanted to spend some time together. 

Around midnight, Mildred began to feel thirsty and hungry so she nudged Gwendolyn's leg who was dozing. 

"Psst, Gwen!" She whisper-shouted. "Hmm? What?" Gwendolyn said sleepily. 

"I'm hungry and I want a drink. Can we go get something from the kitchen, please?" She asked, grinning. 

"Ok." Gwendolyn yawned, unimpressed that she'd been woken up. 

Mildred scrambled off the bed and pulled an oversized tshirt over her head to go downstairs in. 

They made their way down quickly and quietly before going into the kitchen. Mildred began to laugh loudly, smacking a hand across her mouth to muffle the sound as they found some snacks. 

Mildred found a jar of Nutella and decided to swipe some over Gwendolyn's lips and chin, giggling to herself. 

Gwendolyn scoffed and dipped her own finger in, doing the same to Mildred. 

Mildred laughed even louder and Gwendolyn quickly kissed her to shut her up. 

Mildred hummed in appreciation when the taste of the chocolate mingled within their kiss. 

Gwendolyn backed her up against the counter and Mildred lifted one of her legs up to wrap around Gwendolyn as they kissed just as passionately as earlier, their hands roaming everywhere. Gwendolyn grabbed her hips and lifted her up onto the counter, running her fingers up her inner thigh to the edge of her panties. Mildred moaned into her mouth, her hands tangling in Gwendolyn’s hair. 

All of a sudden, they heard an almighty smash and Gwendolyn jumped away from Mildred within a split second to find Gwendolyn's mother in the doorway and from what Mildred could guess was a glass that she had dropped. 

"What in God's name is going on here?" She asked, her voice laced with disgust. She looked at their messy hair, their chests heaving and Mildred sitting on the counter and shook her head. “No, no, no… tell me this isn’t true Gwendolyn.” She spat, glaring at her daughter who’s eyes were filled with tears. “It’s true mom, I wanted to tell you for the longest time but I was afraid of your reaction, and it seems I was right to fear your reaction.” She sniffled.

“My daughter...my daughter is not some filthy dyke…” Her mom gasped. “Mom! I am not a filthy dyke, I am a normal human being and who I am attracted to sexually does not define who I am.” Gwendolyn began to cry at this point and Mildred got down from the counter to go and comfort her, wrapping her arms around her. 

“I am not having this. I refuse to accept it, Gwendolyn. This trashy slut has brainwashed you.” Her mom snapped, her voice getting louder. 

“No, let me stop you there!” Gwendolyn shouted. “I was the one that pursued Mildred and she is not trashy or a slut. She is the most kind hearted, wonderful woman I have ever met in my life. I can’t believe that you would talk about her in that way. You don’t even know her… I love her, mom. Why can’t you accept me for who I am?” Gwendolyn sobbed. “I do not accept it, absolutely not! Wait until your father hears about this! I want this girl out of my house, right now.” Her mom demanded. 

“You can go to hell, mom. It is the middle of the night and it is freezing out there. I am not kicking my girlfriend out of the house. I am going to talk to dad in the morning about how disgusting your behaviour is towards your own fucking daughter!” Gwendolyn shouted in reply. “Come on Mildred, let’s go back to bed.” She scoffed and grabbed Mildred’s hand, storming past her mom. 

They went back upstairs, Gwendolyn still crying. Mildred shut the bedroom door behind them and went to lie on the bed with Gwendolyn, gathering her into her arms, her head resting on Mildred’s chest as she stroked her hair, kissing her forehead. “Shh, it’s ok. You have me and I have you and that’s all that we will ever need.” She whispered, her heart breaking to see Gwendolyn upset in this way. 

“I love you, Gwen.” She said quietly. “I love you too.” Gwendolyn replied, her voice hoarse from crying and shouting at her mother. Gwendolyn lifted her head and kissed Mildred tenderly, the taste of her tears mingling with Mildred’s cherry chapstick. 

Mildred pulled away and rested her forehead against Gwendolyn’s. "Shall we get some sleep? It's pretty late." She whispered. Gwendolyn nodded and snuggled into Mildred, kissing her neck gently. "Goodnight." She sighed, closing her eyes as Mildred ran her fingers through her hair to relax her. 

Once she knew Gwendolyn was asleep, she settled down too and drifted off to sleep, holding onto the woman she loved tighter than she ever had before. 

The next day was stressful and tense for both Mildred and Gwendolyn. Her father was more understanding than her mother and managed to talk her down when she insisted that Mildred needed to go home. She still wasn’t warmed to the idea of her daughter loving another woman and just kept out of their way for the rest of the day. 

“Shall we go out onto the deck and go in the hot tub for a while?” Gwendolyn asked Mildred as they both sat on her window seat, their legs tangled together as they each read a book.

“You have a hot tub?” Mildred gasped. “Yep, we sure do. My mom has gone out and my dad is doing paperwork in his office.” Gwendolyn grinned. “I didn’t bring a bathing suit with me. I didn’t know.” Mildred said. “I have more than one, you can wear one of mine.” Gwendolyn got up and went over to the dresser and got out a bikini, throwing it at Mildred. 

"I don't think this will cover my ass, Gwen." She laughed, holding the bottoms up. "That's the point." She smirked in reply, beginning to change into her own bikini. 

Mildred giggled and rolled her eyes before doing the same. They put on a bathrobe each and went downstairs, Gwendolyn grabbing a bottle of wine on their way and they went outside onto the deck to get into the hot tub. 

"Wow, it's freezing out here." Mildred shivered as she took the robe off. "Get in the water quickly then." Gwendolyn laughed, appreciating how much of her ass was on show due to the bikini bottoms as she climbed into the tub. 

They spent hours in the hot tub, drinking wine, talking and making out. It was the perfect way to spend the afternoon. 

They were both rather tipsy, giggling at some silly joke Gwendolyn had told and Mildred couldn't control her laughter. "It wasn't that funny, Mildred." Gwendolyn chuckled, delighted to see her girlfriend so happy. 

Mildred managed to stop laughing and climbed onto Gwendolyn's lap, her arms resting on top of her shoulders. 

"Maybe we should get out soon, my fingers are all pruney." She laughed, lifting one of her hands to inspect. 

"Mmm, I don't ever want to get out. I've loved every minute of this afternoon with you, baby." She grinned, kissing her softly. 

Mildred cradled the back of Gwendolyn's head, kissing her back with a little more force. The kiss became heated very quickly and the only noises around them was the water sloshing and their lips moving against the others. Gwendolyn lifted her hand and tugged on the string holding Mildred's bikini together, loosening the second one afterwards and pulling the garment off of her chest. 

Mildred pulled away, panicked. "What if your parents come out and catch us?" She asked, slightly breathless. 

"They never come out here. This hot tub is mine so whenever I'm in it, they don't disturb me. Don't worry." She stroked Mildred's cheek reassuringly. 

Mildred raised an eyebrow but put her worries aside and kissed Gwendolyn again. Gwendolyn snaked a hand inbetween them and tugged her bikini bottoms to the side. "Is this ok?" She asked Mildred. "Yes, of course." She panted in reply, sucking in a sharp breath as Gwendolyn pressed her thumb against her clit. 

It only took a few swipes of her thumb and Mildred was a moaning mess, burying her face against Gwendolyn's shoulder as she slid two fingers inside of her. Mildred arched her back which gave Gwendolyn the perfect opportunity to capture a nipple in her mouth, tugging at it gently with her teeth as her fingers moved quicker. Mildred ground her hips against her hand, biting her lip so hard she almost drew blood to stop herself from moaning. 

Gwendolyn released her nipple and lifted her head up with her spare hand to kiss her again, her spare hand then moving to her breast, cupping it as they kissed passionately. 

Gwendolyn felt Mildred clench around her fingers signalling that she was close to orgasm so she stroked her fingers against her g-spot, her thumb rubbing her clit at the same time. Mildred couldn't hold back any longer and let her orgasm take over her entire body, trembling and moaning against Gwendolyn's lips, seeing stars behind her closed eyes. 

Once she had come down from the euphoric high, she sagged against Gwendolyn, her sweaty forehead leaning against her shoulder again as Gwendolyn stroked her fingers lightly up and down her back. 

Mildred laughed once she had got her breath back, kissing Gwendolyn's neck softly. 

"That was...wow. I'm lost for words."

This caused Gwendolyn to laugh, feeling accomplished that she had rendered her girlfriend speechless. 

"Shall we get out now, darling?" She asked, kissing her forehead. 

Mildred and nodded and climbed off Gwendolyn's lap, finding the discarded bikini top so that she could put it back on. 

They got out and went to take a shower before eating dinner. Once dinner was over, they went and sat in the lounge in front of the fire with the record player on in the background quietly as they just sat and enjoyed each others company. It was the most perfect Christmas eve that Mildred had ever experienced and she couldn't wait to spend Christmas day with the love of her life. She'd never felt this content before. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
